Okay BougieLand, it's that time again. Thanks for the emails with questions… some of them were a little scary, but thanks! For those of you that want to send in questions for the next round, I'm emailable at onechele@gmail.com. To answer the one question I received the most, yes – there will be another Relationship Week before year's end. So, for those not aware of the rules: Instead of a full-fledged episode of Ask a Bougie Chick, I just take a sampling of five questions I've been asked recently and answer them. In the spirit of fairness, I printed out the questions, shuffled and picked five at random. I'll share my answers and then I expect each of you, dear readers, to do the same. We love Getting to Know You Day… don't we?!
Here we go:
- What is your favorite TV show?
Right now, it's probably Leverage. Great writing, minority representation in the cast and a plot that I can't figure out in the first two minutes. But I am excited to see this show Southland that is coming to TNT in January, I hear it was really good and Regina King has a role in it. Speaking of Regina King, I'm also pretty partial to the Boondocks.
- You've had a lot of bad dates, what would you consider a good one?
Wow, thanks for that. (stern side-eye) Seriously, I'm NOT that hard to please. Clearly, I'll have to share a few of my better date stories at some point. To answer your question, I'll will first assume we're talking about a first date? If so, I'll take a nice dinner and music with someone I like and share chemistry with. My prayer would be that the conversation is lively and we get through the evening drama-free. (It's the drama-free part that keeps getting in the way)
- What are your thoughts about women who don't cook? Do you cook?
I'm removing the gender bias from your question on your behalf. I think the same thing about both men and women who don't cook: they should learn how to. Everyone should be able to pull out at least one signature dish and a breakfast. (Seriously people, learn to bake some chicken and scramble an egg already).
Yes, I do cook. Regularly and well. I am contemplating posting some Bougie Recipes on here but I'm one of those people that cooks by feel. I take a basic idea for a dish and toss stuff together and see how it turns out which makes it difficult to nail down an actual recipe. My creations usually turn out great, if I may say so myself.
- Would you ever consider getting back together with one of your exes?
Le Sigh. Life has taught me to never say never but er… um – I can't visualize that possibility right now. Okay, reading that over, my answer sounds like a dodge so let me think about it. Alright, the absolute answer is not unless some major changes have taken place with either them or me. So today – no. In the future, maybe. (but I kinda hope not - very been there, done that)
- If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
Hmm, probably my lack of patience. It's something I've learned to fake over the years but I'm really low on it. Particularly the older I get, I just have a very low threshold for stupidity and bullshiggity. Oh and rudeness, I get very frustrated with people that are rude for no reason, makes me snippy.
Okay, the floor is yours. Your answers can be as long or as short as you'd like. You can answer one or all five:
- Favorite TV Show?
- What would you consider a "good date"?
- Do you cook and do you think everyone should (at least a little bit)?
- Is there an ex you would reconcile with?
- What's one thing you would change about yourself?
48 Bougie Thought(s):
Yeah, ya'll got me with one. Almost welled up during that damned Phyllis Hyman episode. Man, what a tragedy.
1. CSI Miami even though it's a little wonky this season (delko?!)
2. I would love to just sit and talk intelligently
3. I sort of cook, need to work on it. I agree with you on that one
4. No exes, onward and upward
5. Way too quick to share my opinions.
I LOVE the Good Wife! And um, why we hating on spaghetti?
I say no spaghetti because you don't want to be talking to a cutie with a noodle hanging out of your mouth...lol
1. Flash Forward
2. I'll take a great conversation any day of the week
3. I just started cooking, too expensive to eat out all the time.
4. I have one ex that's still a maybe in my book
5. I have a jealous streak
Why is it my own family members giving me drama in BougieLand? Just enjoy the dish in the moment, don't worry about it tasting exactly the same the next time ;-)
Oh - the spinach salad, BBQ rib First Date rule - gotcha!
Welcome! Shemar is lovely to look at and even appears to be stepping up his acting game!
By the way, I love getting to know you day on BnB
Stringer Bell is/was so fine! My favorite character was Omar and of course, those dang kids. They broke my heart at the end of Season 4!
yes The Closer is a great show! glad its back for a bit--watched last night.
Welcome! And great answer. Oh, I guess I could've owned up to my sarcastic tongue as well... Le Sigh - I'm a work in progress.
1. Am I the only one still watching Desperate Housewives?
2. A good date is about how I feel when it's happening.
3. I love to cook, my SO cooks too
4. I have tried going back but I didn't solve why we split in the first place so no
5. I tend to procrastinate.
I love 24. that is all
1. Entourage
2. Like GD said below, turn me on with your mind. You give me the mind bang, I'll handle the rest
3. My mom was determined for her boy to throw down in the kitchen. I can burn. It's nice if a woman can at least chop a salad but either way, I'm good
4. I keep it pushin', no look backs, ever
5. I can be a little judgmental
These are some great memories in fact we watched a Charlie Browns Christmas last night. I love Nat King Cole what a treat!
Welcome and thank you! I loved (loved, loved) The Wire - Stringer Bell and Avon Barksdale!
Baking from scratch, hmm... I have been known to enjoy a baked goodie from time to time. Do stick around ;-)
This is fun.
1. The Closer
2. Fireside chat, music, wine - I like the romance
3. I am a brilliant cook ;-) And yes, everyone should be able to put tomato sauce on pasta
4. I have one ex I keep cycling back to, I'll need to break the chain evetually
5. I am perfect, no changes needed <--- except a bit of an ego
Is emailable a word? I'm just askin'.
::jig::
Anytime I can aid in getting someone hooked on healthy crack (oxymoron, anyone) a la UnSung, I've done my job.
And for anyone who doesn't know, TVOne is doing a month long of UnSung greatest hits...
LOL - Everyone could use a little credit score bump.
I can see how a bad mixer flashback could scar one for life o__O
*hand clap* for the conversation
I have to take Criminal Minds in small doses, they come a little too real with the psycho serial killers. Whew!
1. Right now I'm feeling the Cleveland Show
2. I like a lowkey evening
3. I know just enough to be dangerous in the kitchen
4. Maybe one ex in particular
5. I can be a little insensitve to other people feelings (or so I've been told)
I watched The Closer too, this past season was a little off but last night's episode was back on track.
1. 24
2. dates should have a happy ending - nuff said
3. I cook and I wish everybody would learn just a little something
4. I'm trying to win an ex back right now
5. What would I change? I'm told I shut down from time to time. Seems like a bad thing.
BougieLand newbie here.
1. Lost, hands down can't wait until it returns. in the meantime Heroes and Flashforward
2. walking/talking in a botanical garden and a nice lunch. my first date with my SO
3. I love to cook, and think all women should make an effort, men too for that matter. Being able to provide sustenance is sexy--so I've been told.
4. I've gotten back with all exes at some point--but right now I'll say no, its not worth it
5. being impatient and my smart mouth (one or the other, lol)
You knew what I meant.
1 no TV here at present
2 a good date would be when it feels like there is a connection or meeting of the minds
3 yes, I cook and I think everybody should learn to cook for the same reasons you mentioned
4 well, I'm willing to say never. Can I say it again? NEVER.
5 I don't do a good enough job protecting myself. I have this idea from somewhere (my mom?) that I should always think the best of people so ignore or excuse the warning signs when somebody is behaving badly. And then... well, that would be a long story.
I had taken a break from 24 last season but this one looks to be good, I may give it a shot.
1) I LOVE Law & Order:SVU, but I've recently discovered a love for Criminal Minds. A&E has been having frequent marathons and I'm glued to the tv every time.
2) My idea of a good date involves an opportunity to talk and doesn't involve a lot of stress (e.g. what will I wear, etc...). Bowling typically works in that vein. I like lowkey, whenever possible, but especially on a first date.
3) I don't have a strong opinion on poeple who don't cook. You should at least be able to sustain yourself; there's no need to be a gourmet chef unless you work in a restaurant, but to be completely incapable of pulling together at least one full meal (main dish + at least 2 side dishes/casserole equivelent = full meal) is problematic. I think all men and women should be able to cook SOMETHING.
4)I'll co-sign OneChele on this. I try to say never, but folks are exes for a reason, right? I mean unless one of us has made major personality/expectation/life changes, getting back with them seems foolish.
5)Dang OneChele, you're in my head on #5. That's always a consistent answer for me: I need more patience. I told my mom I was praying for patience, once and she told me to be careful. "You may not like the way God tries to give it to you..." and I surely did not. ::whew::
Favorite TV Show? Twenny-Fo without a doubt and I will cut you behind Jack Bauer, CSI Miami/Criminal Minds are neck in neck for second place.
What would you consider a "good date"? A good meal (Foodie here) and good conversation
Do you cook and do you think everyone should (at least a little bit)? I am getting nicer with my cooking skills (Love makes you want to do a lil better)
Is there an ex you would reconcile with? I did and it was a disaster. I've learned my lesson. No mas!
What's one thing you would change about yourself? I'm a tad dramatical. I get it from my mama.
I got all teary at that one too. And Minnie Riperton's.
1. Fave TV show:
Divine Design on HGTV
2. Great date:
all about that vibe and chemistry
3. Cooking:
I'm an okay cook, not brilliant but I get the job done. But a man that can really cook in the kitchen is SEXY!
4. Re-visiting the Ex-Files
Um - no thank you
5. My fixable flaw:
Gossip.
New to bougieland but have been lurking for a minute. I must say that I always get a good laugh when reading your blog.
1. My favorite show is The Wire! I absolutely love that show with all of its' innuendos and subtext, very smart!
2. My best first date was when a guy took me to a playground at midnight. We talked, played, laughed and had a ball for free!
3. I can cook but really love to bake from scratch. I wish most men were ready for such things **sigh***.
4. I tried reconciling with an ex so never again!
5. I want to be more flexible when it comes to men! I tend to take things as I see them without considering alternative explanations, which is not a good look!
whatchu know about that Wire girl?
1. The Oprah Winfrey Show and the Good Wife
2. Some good conversation over dinner. No spaghetti.
3. yes I do but, but very rarely.YES everybody should be able to cook something.
4. Heck NO well if he won the lottery!!
5. I have a smart mouth and and sometimes I use God as a bully with people.
1. Well you and your girl ASmith got me hooked on Unsung
2. I just want a nice experience with a little romance, does that make sense?
3. I don't cook so I feel everyone else should ;-)
4. No re-dos. No thank you.
5. I am admittedly selfish...
This is fun.
1. No favorite show although I love any "who done it" that surprises me.
2. Casual, low-key and talking without the distraction of a movie or concert.
3. I cook but it seems to surprise folks when I do. Sunday's dinner was rack of lamb with portobello mushroom rissotto. I don't really care if a man can cook but love it when they really can.
4. No, I wouldn't reconcile with an ex. Nor would I go back to a former employer. The fundamental reasons why you leave generally don't change.
5. What would I change? I wish I could rid myself of a tendancy to be blunt but I'm a Sag and it's one of our characteristics.
Just started following your blog and I love it. Keep it up!
1) Criminal Minds. Shemar Moore is beautiful and I'm fascinated by all the crime and law shows.
2)A good date is where hours fly by but you feel as though you just met up with each other. There is great chemistry and the conversation in is flowing and there is lots of laughter.
3)I've been cooking since I was a little girl. My father didn't go for me watching tv or doing something else while my mom was cooking. I love it and don't know how people can live without not knowing how to cook.
4)Never been in a relationship.
5)I am very impatient and very quick to not give people second chances.
You know sir, some of these answers sounding kinda bougenificent. I highly approve. And by the way, to the rest of BougieLand - Let this be a PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT - Red Lobster is NOT a fine seafood restaurant. Olive Garden is NOT the best place for Eye-Talian and Taco Bell is NOT Mexican Food. KThxBi!
1. Bernie Mac - I'm currently raising two young cousins who where taken from their mother by CPS. It seems that eveything Bernie has to deal with, I do too.
DiY, HGTV - Good for ideas on remodels and disign.
2. We used to always take advantage of Southwest's Friends Fly free program for quick dates to Vegas or San Francisco.
But my best date was a midnight picnic on the 8th hole of my old neighborhood golf course. It wasn't the money the girl spent - but the setting, effort and company that made it great.
3. I can cook a lot of Italian, some Creole, but not Soul Food. (I didn't grow up eating a lot of it.)
Since moving down South - it seems that Soul Food is all a girl knows how to cook. (But the stuff ain't good for you.)
I care a bit if a girl knows how to cook - but what I watch is whether she knows how to eat (using the proper utensils at dinner) and what to eat (Knowing whether she likes Asiago or Muenster (Not Velveeta), Shitake or Portobello - just something to let me know that she understands that Olive Garden is not good Italian and Red Lobster isn't good Seafood.)
4. I'm friends with most of my exes and their husbands.
Since I was the one who messed up - why should I hate?
Would I go back to them?
Nope.
Although I still care for most of them - what's the point?
5. I seem to know too many people that other people shouldn't know.
(But then again, maybe I've become one of those people that others shouldn't know.)
p.s. After reading the comments, I thought I'd add that for all those guys who both can cook and enjoy cooking, this is a big plus. If any of the men in my life had cooked, I would have been sending up prayers of thanks every day!
Favorite TV Show? I've really enjoyed White Collar, it meets the criteria that OneChele and I created for the great writing, etc.
What would you consider a "good date"? Hmm, does is seem wrong to say I'll let you know when I've had one? It does, well then a good date includes good food, good conversation and a nice kiss at the end.
Do you cook and do you think everyone should (at least a little bit)? First, let me give OneChele a side-eye for her prevarication on her cooking skills. She has amazing cooking skills but if she ever sends you a recipe, double check that she didn't leave out a dash of this or a dash of that :o) Okay, to the question, I'm a good cook and I think everyone should know how to cook at least one thing (grill a steak, maybe?)
Is there an ex you would reconcile with? Negatory tower.
What's one thing you would change about yourself? It would be nice to reduce the sarcasm some days but it is what it is.
Damn ya'll...I'm still on Oilve Garden's salad and breadsticks..bougie ass Negros!!
However, I do like a lil Manchego cheese drizzled with honey on a cracker with a handful of salted almonds. (that's kinda bougie huh? LOL)
I love the Wire, I'm a Baltimore girl, born, raised and still residing. It is so nice to see your own city on TV, I hate that it was under such negative circumstances but that is the B-more that I know so, it is what it is.
because BougieCousin that's what sisters do. I love you guys.
Favorite TV Show?
Hands down, Law & Order SVU. I love the Captain and Benson and Stabler just make my heart happy. I will cry if Mariska Hargitay or Chris Meloni ever leave the show.
What would you consider a "good date"?
Conversation so good I barely touch my food.
Do you cook and do you think everyone should (at least a little bit)?
I'm a beast in the kitchen, I'm often told I should open a restaurant. I think everyone should be able to make at least one dish. I figure cooking is just; time, seasoning and heat but honestly it is more then that.
Is there an ex you would reconcile with?
Done it, doing it. Some exes wouldn't be allowed 20 feet near me, some exes should have stayed in the friendzone but since the break-up we are back in the friendzone. Some exes the break-up was fussy so I gave it a second chance, wasn't the worse thing I had ever done but realized that they were an ex for a reason.
What's one thing you would change about yourself?
My quick temper, I can get mad at the drop of a dime but cool off in ten seconds flat. Want to stop the intial anger though, 'angry black woman' is not cute.
What is your favorite TV show?
Of all time, it'd have to be the Cosby Show (specifically the Gordon Gartrell episode). Right now, as TV seems like one reality show after another - it's probably The Office. I get a big chuckle every week watching it.
You've had a lot of bad dates, what would you consider a good one?
Any one that ends with hot butt-nekkid monkey sex! Nah, j/k...
Really - one that has a conversation that I don't want to end. A lot of people think that guys just want the girls who parade T & A (and some do, we're not blind) but honestly, one who can capture your mind is infinitely sexier than the temptress.
What are your thoughts about women who don't cook? Do you cook?
I'd have to first figure out why. Maybe she had some tragic childhood memory with a mixer. Who am I to judge?
Just provide me with some option of culinary goodness and I'm content, mainly because I cook as well and I'll make damn sure we don't go hungry.
Would you ever consider getting back together with one of your exes?
I've done it before and it ended in failure. It's a reason why exes become exes.
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
My credit score/bracket LOL. Realistically speaking, I'd cross the 6 foot barrier (I'm 5'11). I'd make myself 6'3. That's about it.
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