Friday, November 20, 2009

Worst. Date. Ever. It’s your turn to share

By now, you all have heard enough of my bad date BougieTales to write your own blogs. And what's truly amazing is that I have not even shared my "worst date ever" story yet. No, we have not hit rock bottom yet. That experience involved a trip to Hawaii and a gentleman (using term loosely) that me and my friends unabashedly refer to as PsychoMike. Even though it was a four day excursion into the bowels of hell, I feel fine referring to the entire incident as one bad date.

Ironically, my "best date ever" story involves a trip to Hawaii and a completely different guy. Don't. Judge. Me. I happen to love Hawaii. Again, another four day journey. But on this trip the word paradise was more of a state of mind than a location and I literally boo-hooed when I had to get on the plane and go home. Ah memories. But both of these experiences are for another post and another day. Maybe the next Relationship Week?

At any rate, it's time for me to turn the microphone (keyboard) over to you. Today is your turn, dear readers. Answer one or all, but tell us something!

  1. Briefly, what was your worst date ever? Why?
  2. Did the relationship survive the bad date?
  3. In hindsight, is there anything you could have done to avoid the experience (or make it less horrible)?

As I always, thanks for dropping by… you are appreciated.

39 comments:

Foxy Brown said...

okay, worst date ever. first, let me say that the entire date lasted all of 30 minutes. so, this guy and i decided to meet for a casual lunch date. i had a meeting run long and call to push it back 30 minutes. he's like cool, i'm running behind too. i get there first and grab a booth <----remember this! his @ss shows up 15 minutes late. no call. no text. he sits down and opens the menu. no hello. no how are you. i order. his @ss orders "fish strips". wth is fish strips? no, its not on the menu. even the server is confused. so the food comes, pls tell me why this fool lays down. his effin chin is on the effin table. and his @ss ate with his fingers. the check comes and he looks at me. o_O ninja please. he takes out his wallet, picks up the check, and stands up. i say where are you going? he response "to check out". wth? we ain't at the grocery store. i say the server will come pick it up. he says i need a smoke. he leaves the money on the table and was like bring me my change. i left the server a $20 tip. i take him the rest of his change and he was like so you wanna go to my house. HELL NAW!

relationship? i left his @ss in that parking lot and ain't seen him sense. though he had the gall to call and ask for a second date. ummmm, no.

how could i have avoided the experience? i coulda left his @ss right where i found him.

Steve said...

So I was meeting this girl at a restaurant but she shows up at my house an hour early. She has an equally attractive friend with her. I was slightly irritated but my freak flag has begun to fly and well, you know what I was thinking. They ask me to pay for their taxi. The irritation goes up a notch but okay cause a brother's about to get his Penthouse freak on. They come in sit down and ask if I have a friend who can join us. I call one of my boys and we go eat. These chicks eating like linebackers and not paying any attention to me and my boy so I deduce that we are being used for a meal. Midway through the meal one of them gets a call and asks if we can drive them to an address downtown. It turns out to be the city jail where they offer to "do things" for us if we'll pay bail for two of their friends. Yup, these chicks were going to do us in a jail parking lot to get their ruffneck men out of jail. FAIL!

Saw her one more time at a club running game on some other ninja. In hindsight, when two beautiful half-naked females show up at your door unannounced ask what they are planning up front. I was thinking sandwich while they were thinking sucker

Suzie S said...

Let's just say it ended when I dialed 911 and this fool was charged with breaking and entering and attempted grand theft auto.
I saw him again in court.
I check references now.

ArizonaGirl said...

Blind date hell. He was 5'2", very shiny and had an unfortunate issue with his sweat glands. He giggled nervously (like a girl) and kept trying to touch me. He spilled his drink on me and explained that he left his wallet "somewhere" - sure he did, that's why I only agreed to coffee. I was in and out of that Starbucks in fifteen minutes.

tiffanyinhouston said...

Briefly, what was your worst date ever? Why?

My worse date ever was a dude I met via BlackPlanet WAY back in the day, like 1999 (Yes, I am an early adopter). Briefly, we chatted online, then moved to the phone and decided to meet for dinner. Dinner was at Chili's (I was in my mid-20s, don't judge). The actual date went fairly well with decent convo and no notable signs of the crazee showing. Where it went off the rails was afterwards when we were chatting in the parking lot after dinner. This fool says I brought you a gift and I need to get it out the back of the car. I think, OK cool, how nice of him. He reaches in the back and hands me a fabric rose. o_O. Ooookay. But it was a nice thought so I took it, hugged him bye and bounced.

Later when I got home, I took a closer look at it and realized...wait for it...wait for it...that the fabric "rose" was actually a pair of LACE PANTIES folded and twisted to look like a rose!!!! I took it apart to figure it out. And the killing part, them shits was TOO LITTLE!!!! I don't know if that ninja went to the sex shop before our date or whether he routinely did that but needless to say..his calls went UNRETURNED.

Did the relationship survive the bad date? HELL NO.

In hindsight, is there anything you could have done to avoid the experience (or make it less horrible)?
I don't think so as I don't regularly recieve panties as gifts on a first date. :)

Mr. Skyywalker said...

I can cap this off in one easy sentence: Her husband CAME home mid-stroke.

(No, I did not know she was married)

Joy Andrews said...

How about he met and hooked up with another girl in the middle of our date? I caught them out on the terrace getting buckwild. He said: I didn't think you'd be into this sort of thing. Can you get home okay?

I don't know how I would have seen that one coming!

diamond life said...

First of all, we need to hear these Hawaii tales. Anything including someone names PsychoMike has GOT to be good!

I'll summarize - my worst date picked me up in a stolen Lexus. I know because it was impounded and he was arrested somewhere between the salad and the dinner course. You really haven't lived until police officers bust into a four-star restaurant and haul your date off. He's screaming Come Bail Me Out! as they haul him away. Um... no. But I did call his boy to come get him.

It was our 4th or 5th date, who knew he was thug nation?! Yes, this ended the "relationship"

MD said...

My dating experience is very, very limited because I had one boyfriend in high school (across town) and one in college whom I married.

So, there was this blind date auction freshman year of college hosted by TAASU (the African American Student Union). The winner of my submission ends up disappointed (he's 5' nothin, I'm 5'7") because the person he thought he was getting was not me. (Disclaimer...I'm not unattractive, we just were not a good match...me:academic, serious; him:artist, musician).

He picks me up at my parents house and the initial meeting goes well. We get in the car and....~crickets~. Barely a word. Get to the theatre and again~crickets~. Both end up falling asleep during the movie. Wake up half-way through and decide it's not working. He asks if I'm hungry and if I've brought any money for food. I ask to go home.

Way to have avoided this awfulness? Do NOT participate in blind date auctions. I'm sure I saw this guy maybe once more on campus afterwards. He had moved on and there was no love lost between us.

OneChele said...

Yes sir, when half-naked women show up at your door unannounced, that's what we call a red flag!

jake said...

Girl invites me over to her house. We're a few dates in. I show up with wine. Her father answers the door. Didn't know she lived in her parents attic (she was 25). He escorts me upstairs (keeps the wine for himself) and says, "I'll be back up here in fifteen minutes." And yes, he came up those stairs every fifteen minutes to make sure we were sitting 5 feet apart watching TV. I asked her if she wanted to come back to my place, he says from behind the door (where he was lurking) NO SHE DOES NOT AND I OWN A SHOTGUN.

That took all of the sexy out of the relationship for me. Everytime I thought about making a move, I saw her dad's very angry face in my mind.

OneChele said...

I'm still confused by the fish strips?

OneChele said...

I can't wrap my mind around the inappropriateness of drawers on the first date.

Jessica said...

New to the site, trying to catch up. So much good stuff to read!

Mine is similar to Mr. Skyywalker's - we were at a concert when this woman came up and announced herself as my date's live-in girlfriend, mother of two of his kids. Found out later he had six kids. 6! As you say, "I'm done, son!"

Marcus said...

How about her dad came with her on the date. She was 27 and her dad came WITH her.

JaymeC said...

Goodness! Some of these require PTSD counseling for survivors!

I thought mine was bad, we set up a lovely early evening picnic. Just so happened we picked a spot that was in the middle of poison oak and on top a large pile of very large angry ants. We abandoned basket, blanket, everything and took off running. Those ants weren't playing. Nothing sexier than huddling up next to your husband slathered in Calamine lotion and doped up on Benadryl... very sexy!

OneChele said...

I had those "dead silences" on dates. That's a sign (and not a good one). All's well that ends well?

MochaMuffin said...

Second date, he comes over to pick me up, asks to use my bathroom and ten minutes later I wonder where he is. I call his name and he says - I'm in here... my bedroom?! I go back there. Why he spread out on my bed naked talmbout - Come join me, baby. WTF? WDDDA? and GTFOH!

Naw I ain't seen that busta since.

OneChele said...

911 on a date is a bad sign!

Cassie said...

Here's one: Why was my date on ANOTHER date at the same time, in the same restaurant. I was in a booth in front, she was at a table in back. I wondered why he kept getting up. He said it was to check on his babysitter. The waiter took pity and came over and told me. I had him wrap me up some lobster tacos and double chocolate cheesecake to go and I left while he was still at the other table.

He called me later to ask what happened. I hung up.

OneChele said...

I would have to say that any time anti-itch ointment and medication follows a date... that's a bad thing.
LOL at the PTSD counseling!

Lady said...

lol, talk about being a daddy's girl. WOW

JustPassingBy said...

Woke up next morning, wallet, TV and car gone.

Lady said...

My teen years are chapter of my life that will have me on New York Times bestsellers list. I met this guy on a chatline, we agreed to meet up and go out to eat. We decided to meet at a mutal bus stop *FAIL*(Hey I gave any guy a chance, I didn't want to be a golddigger, lol). When he got there he was, how do you say, God awful ugly; fat, short, black, and dressed sloppily. Not only was he ugly on the outside but also ugly on the inside. We got on the bus to go to our destination and he was being loud, rude and ignorant towards me. I told him he had one more thing to say and I would leave him on that bus alone, he dared me and I did it. Needless to say, he sat on the bus mouth wide open and pride crushed. I went on to enjoy the rest of the day alone and happy. I never saw or heard from him again.

OneChele said...

I can't with the felonious dates... I really can't

Foxy Brown said...

me, you, and our server. since neither one of us could figure out what he wanted she just ended up bringing him some random fish dish. he didn't know the difference so apparently he didn't know what fish strips was either.

thinklikeRiley said...

Mine was more a booty call than a date. Go over round 2 in the morning and she's like you'll have to be quick and quiet. I gots no problem with that. It's way dark in the place but she leads me to the sofa and we get to doing what needs to be done. All the lights go on and why is old girl's grandma in a hospital bed in the middle of the living room talking bout - ya'll go head and finish so I can get some sleep. Chick was like, we're almost done. Um no ma'am - we are done now. Zipping, leaving, never going back.

OneChele said...

Wow - security fail. Background checks.

mochadudespeaks said...

My worst date threw up on me at concert and I had to pretty much carry her out, get her home, clean her up and put her to bed. But when she was better, she thanked me in the nicest ways.

Didn't end the relationship, in fact I married the woman.

OneChele said...

Ah those high school memories.

daisy said...

Gosh, I got stuck with the bill once. Seems tame compared to the tomfoolery everyone else has put up with. *kisses husband* Let me count my blessings!

paula said...

OMG - these are awful! Mine are all fairly mild in comparison. Though my best friend and I went to Vegas and she woke up married to some guy she couldn't remember meeting. That's a pretty bad date.

Man's World said...

BWAHAHA! Maybe we can get OneChele to do a series on 'When Hit It and Quit Goes Bad!"

OneChele said...

Not bloody likely. ;-)

Sarah said...

I've been drying the dinner dishes, singing along to 'Bad Bad Leroy Brown' on the oldies station, and taking a trip down memory lane. I guess I have something to add to my list of things to be thankful for since I cannot bring up a 'bad date' worthy of the stories here. I feel like I've led a sheltered life.

bougiesis said...

Worst date ever: Waitress comes to take the drink order, brother orders a coke and I order a glass of Pinot. While reviewing the menu to determine dinner option, my date says "I'm not paying for that wine" ...direct quote. I slide down the menu and say, "Not to worry, tonight dinner is on me." Now, others having heard this tale say well maybe he didn't drink, please -- this was date number three and when I met him we were headed to the store on a wine and beer run.
Did the relationship Survive: Needless to say, that was our last date - you can't buy a sister a $12 glass a wine, you are not ready for prime time.
Avoided?: As OneChele consistently mentions - background checks!

courtney aka glamah said...

Worst date ever... My mother had just died that summer and I went out with this guy I should have known better about. He got me with the whole sympathy , I just lost my mother angle. Anyway booked a table at a upscale steak house. He brought his own ' Kosher ' champagne ( he was Jewish). It was pretty sweet and awful. Anyway bill comes, and he got a corkage fee that was more than the price of that wine. I could tell the staff was snickering.Even worse, the card was declined and it wasn't even his card! He borrowed his friends. I ended up paying and tracked that man down for months to pay me back which he finally did.
Obviously I was grief sticken and not thinking straight.

scsilk said...

July 18, 1998. Yes, I remember the date. Showed up late, went to a club near my house. We took a walk where he starts giving me a speech about how Denzel and Michael Jordan started out poor, but they had women beside them who had faith in them. He got a weird light in his eyes. If this had been a movie, this was where the music went from sexy to sinister, and you would have been yelling at the screen, "Girl, go, just run!". Hell, *I* was yelling it. But I didn't run, I had to see what would happen next.. We ended up at a diner where he starts complimenting my butt. Over. And over and over and over. I ask him to stop. He won't stop. I playfully say "Haha, shut up, stop", and he snapped. Just snapped. "My MAMA doesn't tell my FATHER to shut up! You're rude." Fine, I'm rude. I leave. He calls me an hour later, apologizing (this was pre-caller ID). Then he snaps again because he's in the middle of move and I don't ask him how to get a hold of him. He hangs up on me. 90 minutes later he calls back. "I MISS YOU". That's when I got scared.

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