Friday, November 27, 2009

Trying not to hate on… Black Friday

I'm a girl who loves to shop. Window shop, power shop, little browse or stock up for a rainy day – I love to shop. So why, Black Friday are you determined to suck the fun out of it? Sure, I don't HAVE to go out there on the craziest day of the year… but then again I really do. I have to make sure I'm not missing something fabulous. But I have to make sure within reason. So, Mr. B. Friday – I have a few questions for you:

  1. Why do you have people believing the hype and waking up at 3:00am to get in line at Wal-Mart for a $35 laptop? You know you only have two of those and 4,500 over-caffeinated people are about to storm your doors to get it. Quit tripping.

  2. Why do these stores not hire enough additional workers? Yes, we're in a recession but people must shop. I don't care if I'm only purchasing one pair of $5 drawers from Vicki's to get my free gift with purchase, I don't believe I should have to wait 35 minutes for it.

  3. Why are people so darn pushy? I mean like-snatch-the-boot-out-of-my-hand pushy. Girlfriend, don't let the bougie fool you – I will CUT you over some stack heel buttery leather size 8 ½ joints in black. Try me and see.

  4. Who are you fooling with some of these sales? Macy*s, bless their heart, has a one-day only sale every other week unless you are just opening a side window and throwing purses, shoes and apparel out the window, not sure how much more you can do.

  5. Why do we even go? It's like getting sucked in by the hype. We truly believe this is the best shopping day of the year and if we miss it, we should just lie down and drink arsenic.

  6. Is it bad that I rarely buy Christmas presents on Black Friday? I usually take the opportunity to stock up on stuff for me and the house. I'm sure I should feel bad about this somehow.

Usually BougieMom, BougieSis and I venture out around nine or ten (none of that four AM nonsense). We shop with a plan and a purpose and more often than not… a list. Yes, we are those people. We attack shopping with guerilla warfare precision and follow a few rules:

  1. Breakfast first, you'll need all your energy and brain food.
  2. Buy what you can afford, and only what you can carry yourself.
  3. Walking shoes only, you fall out you will get left behind.
  4. Know what you want, we will not be wandering from store to store.
  5. No tears in shopping, if we missed the noon cut-off for the extra 30% off – it just wasn't meant to be.
  6. Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate. Sometimes the parking gods aren't with us and perspiration is involved.
  7. No kids allowed, this shopping expedition is for the grown, serious and toilet trained.
  8. No body no crime: mess with the BougieWomen at your own risk – we will fight back (or shred you with our razor sharp witty tongues)
  9. No discount, no purchase – I don't believe in paying full price for much of anything.
  10. If we find most of what we want at brilliant prices at the first store, that's a sign and we're done OR When we are so hungry we are irritable, it's time for a break or time to stop.

So who's with me? Who's shopping today? Why and what are you getting? Who believes Black Friday to be the most overhyped "pseudo-Holiday" of the year?


Kiki said...

*sighs* I was one of the idiots at Target at 3:00am. Consequently exhausted by 8:00am. Next year I'll try your way!

Sarah said...

Good luck to you :-) I hope there isn't any parking lot or check out line rage. Me, I won't be out there. If I could, I would do all my shopping online and have it delivered to my door. The only place I actually like to go is World Market or places similar where I can admire all the colorful and interesting merchandise even if I don't buy any. Maybe one of the reasons folks are so cranky on the Friday after Thanksgiving is from a hangover. Make sure to bring some aspirin.

Queen of Me said...

I'll get out there later and start a little Christmas shopping but mostly stuff for me. I need sweaters!

derek love said...

My girl had me out at some outlet mall at midnight - it was ugly and I'm positive my Player Card is in jeopardy. I'm going to bed and pretending the whole thing was an ugly dream

Lady said...

I have never done Black Friday. Thanks to my S.O. I maybe out there this afternoon, but hopefully all the crazies will be gone by then. I'm not pressed, I do my shopping the 2nd or 3rd week of December anyway, too early gives my sons too much chance of finding their gifts, the closer to Christmas the better I say, less chance of ruining the surprise for them.

mojitochica said...

Yeah, I'm shopping from couch while watching football.

daisy said...

Too funny, not me this year! Spent the day on the couch! I will cyber-shop Monday ;-)

primaryworkathome said...

I never tried this one yet and will love to try soon. Thanks for sharing this one.


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