Monday, October 26, 2009

Music for couples counseling

First up on BnB Music Week – songs that don't reflect well on your relationship. Yes, we're talking Dysfunctional Relationship Songs. Awhile ago I'm driving in the car with a girlfriend of mine and we are singing along to some tunes. One song comes on and she gets all teary-eyed, "Ah, that used to be our song." Swear to you, I almost wrecked the car. We were listening to Puddle of Mudd: Control. For those of you not up on your alternative anthems, here are some of the lyrics:

I love the way you rake my skin, I feel the hate you place inside, I need to get your voice out of my head, cause I'm that guy you'll never find
I think you know all of the rules, there's no expression on your face, I'm hope that someday you will let me go, release me from my dirty cage
[Chorus]
I need to feel you, you need to feel me, I can't control you, you're not the one for me, no
I can't control you, you can't control me, I need to feel you, so why's there even you and me?

In case ya'll don't know – that's not a love song. If this is you and your boo's "song"… ya'll got some issues. I am talking super-serious 'check in with your parole officer' issues. Your relationship song should say something about you and yours like 1) We love each other or 2) We have a lot of sex or even 3)We go through some things but still love each other and have a lot of sex. Those are sentiments we get. But if one of the following is your song, we'd like to suggest some couples counseling… post haste:

  1. Love is Stronger than Pride by Sade: One of the prettiest songs ever written but truly heart-breaking if you take a listen: I won't pretend that I intend to stop living. I won't pretend I'm good at forgiving. But I can't hate you, although I have tried. I still really really love you. Love is stronger than pride. I still really really love you. Basically old girl is saying that she cannot stand you or the crazy sh!t you do but dammit she loves you anyway. For something different, check out Rahsaan Patterson's version of this song.

  2. I Can't Make You Love Me by Bonnie Raitt: It's in the title people – one person doesn't love the other. How is this your song? Peep a verse: Cause I can't make you love me if you don't. I'll close my eyes, then I won't see the love you don't feel when you're holdin' me. Mornin' will come and I'll do what's right, just give me till then to give up this fight. She wants one more night before she admits that the relationship is d-e-a-d. Death of relationship should not be ya'lls song. Another great version of this song is done by Will Downing.

  3. Every Breath You Take by the Police: Sting recently came out in an interview and said how horrified he was that this was people's wedding song. He wrote the song in a kind of jealous stalker hateration rage and never intended for it to be a love song. Every breath you take, every move you make, every bond you break, every step you take, I'll be watching you. Every single day, every word you say, every game you play, every night you stay, I'll be watching you. I only have one thing to say to this: Security! If you want a haunting, lyrical Police song that actually speaks to love, give Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic a shot.

  4. Lovin' Touchin' Squeezin by Journey: Yeah um – this song is not about what you think it is. Check out a verse: You make me weep and wanna die just when you said we'd try lovin', touchin', squeezin' each other. When I'm alone all by myself, you're out with someone else lovin', touchin', squeezin' each other. It won't be long, yes till you're alone. When your lover, oh, he has'nt come home cause he's lovin' oh, he's touchin', he's squeezin' another. This is more of a cheating redemption anthem than a love song. If you want a great Journey love song, go for Faithfully.

I'm just saying, your relationship song should be a bit more meaningful than Blame it (on the Alcohol), say more than Birthday Sex and be something you aren't ashamed to listen to in the future (The Thong Song?). My last "relationship song" was You by Raheem DeVaughn. Probably should have been Bad Habits by Maxwell. Such is life.

Got a relationship song to share? What is the most inappropriate relationship song ever (besides Roxanne)?

54 comments:

AppleBerryMIA said...

Angela Winbush FTW - Angel still makes me cry.

OneChele said...

Riley - all I can do is shake my head with you.

TiffanyNicole said...

"I'm just saying, your relationship song should be a bit more meaningful than Blame it (on the Alcohol), say more than Birthday Sex and be something you aren't ashamed to listen to in the future (The Thong Song?). "--LOL too funny! Being the die hard MC (the original MC--Mint Condition!) fan that I am, I gotta go for Someone to Love--"Cause if it's love you need I'll give you all the love you need, just take my hand and I'll led the way..."

A very close second is Rene & Angela You Don't Have to Cry. (Gotta love the mid 80's) "There's someone here now who cares about your needs, we'll make it somehow cause I'll share your grief, I'm just here to give you good love in sad times..."

Man's World said...

What is your bougie butt doing listening to Puddle of Mudd?! Ha! My last girlfriend says everytime she hears American Idiot, she thinks of me... nice.

Liselle said...

Hey- good lookin' out on the Rahsaan Patterson cut. Never heard it before.

Diana said...

So I guess Pink's You Make Me Sick is not a good one, huh? Cuz that one comes to mind more often than not

SpitGameSpeakTruth said...

I had to coach up my little nephew talking about 'Forever' with Drake and them was he and his girl's song. Naw player. No Drake, no Lil Wayne, no Eminem - not for the "love"

daisy said...

There was a song from way, way back by Richard Marx featuring Luther called Don't Know Why (I keep coming back to you) - okay, a little twisted but very fitting for one of my relationships. After a fight, we would just turn that song up and eye each other.

ASmith said...

Ours was "You and Me" - Lifehouse.

An unfortunate thing because radio played the Sweet Jesus out of that song and at one point, I really hated it.

ASmith said...

I sent him " Just Like a Pill" once. I thought it was an acceptable temporary substitute at that time.

Jason P said...

Can't go wrong when you go old school: Stevie Wonder - Sunshine of My Life

phenomenallybouge said...

Big ups to Pink. My favorite of hers is Private Show.

Now, our songs are Shining Star by The Manhattans, You by Jessie Powell, and Make It Work by Neyo.

Pure Choco said...

Why my little sister tried to rock "My Boo" with her little pre-teen boyfriend. I felt so old. I was like - get a real song youngsters! No NKOTB, Backstreet- just no boy bands. You may be allowed one Justin Timberlake song. As for me - I'm old school - Percy Sledge! When a man loves a woman

Kiki said...

grew up to my parents slow-grooving around the living room to Peabo and Roberta. My older sister and her hubby are all Boys II Men, I'm thinking classic - like Seal.

Rob said...

I don't know if you're going to cover wedding songs that MUST BE STOPPED but can I send around a petition not to hear Celine Dion My Heart Will Go On at one more Caucasian wedding. And for my brothers and sisters, that Whitney Houston song from Bodyguard... please stop playing them!

Violet Rose said...

No more Wind Beneath My Wings!

Pure Choco said...

Co-sign. Let me tack on Make it Last Forever by Keith Sweatt. Begging is inappropriate at weddings.

Violet Rose said...

'I want you to want me" is NOT appropriate.

Reads4Pleasure said...

Totally Inappropriate, but Keep on Walkin' by Cece Peniston

MochaMuffin said...

Super Old School - When I Fall in Love - not Natalie's version but Nat's!

MochaMuffin said...

On the Roberta thing, the remake of Killing Me Softly seems inappropriate for a relationship song as well.

LikeLena said...

Worst relationship song ever - Jay Z and Beyonce - Bonnie and Clyde. And I saw more little knuckleheads holding hands to this joint.

Lady said...

"Spend My Life" Eric Benet and Tamia, brings a tear to my eye and an extra beat to me heart. I was 15 or 16, now I'm 26 and it still rings the same for my oldest sons dad. "Can I just see you every morning when I open my eyes....

Definite classic, definite love song, definitely great.

OneChele said...

Ditto for Crazy in Love.

OneChele said...

Love, love, love Spend my Life... aw, getting all misty thinking about it

OneChele said...

Back in the day, folks abused a lot of Spandau Ballet - True.

OneChele said...

You could really put all Fugees songs in this category!

derek love said...

Any of the non-I-done-dogged-around songs by Brian McKnight are good. Dwele brings a good vibe. No rap love song on the list?

ASmith said...

OhEmGee

"You" will be played at my wedding. If that song doesn't fit, then I can't get married to that particular gentleman. Simple as that.

I've decided that it will be far easier to just let my mom plan my wedding without me (for real, no, seriously) but I will be picking the music and she and my fiancee can suck it on that front. Love her (and him when I find him) dearly.

derek love said...

Heatwave's Always and Forever must be stopped.

derek love said...

Ah, you was mad, huh?

ASmith said...

Upset....frustrated.....ready to choke the life out of him...

Pish, posh. :)

OneChele said...

I'm doing break up songs tomorrow ;-) Sounds like you'll have a few to add to the list!

AppleBerryMIA said...

I got Stevie Wonder's That Girl which I thought was sweet until I heard the words. Not so much a compliment!

thinklikeRiley said...

Ya'll ladies and the mix-CDs. Why my girl send me a CD with Singles Ladies and I hate how much I love you... damn

MochaDudeSpeaks said...

Anything by Britney Spears is highly inappropriate. Had a girl tell me she thought of Slave 4 You when she thought of me. I wasn't flattered and considered restraining orders... LOL

Andrea M said...

PCD - Stickwitu

JJ_Fad said...

Been lurking a while but wanted to actually comment on this post. One of my favorite relationship songs is a remake by Mary J. Blige "I'm in Love". And THANK YOU for finally agreeing with me that "Every Breathe You Take" is a stalker song. I have been saying that for years and people would look at me like I was nuts.

OneChele said...

Welcome! And speaking of Mary J - Share my World is another classic. Yes, even Sting says Every Breath is a song begging for a restraining order!

Foxy Brown said...

my relationship song is currently "whoknows" by musiq. the boo and i are always talking about how much we like our little world.

All Honey said...

Back in my gangsta days, the s.o. and I were on that Erykah Badu - Other Side of the game vibe. that's only sexy until you gotta come up with bail money

Leon X said...

Lewis Taylor is all over this inappropriate relationship songs post. When Will I Ever Learn is one of his many tortured love songs. Speaking of inappropriate wedding songs, how about Earth Wind and Fire's Reasons? Excuse me? A song about two people slipping away for some nookie?

JaymeC said...

Anita Baker's Giving you the Best that I got is my husband and I's song. We both point when she gets to, "I bet everything on this wedding ring..."

On the flip, I'm looking through some of these comments. I'm in business today cuz of folks thinking "Rumpshaker" defines their relationship.

diamond life said...

Inappropriate relationship song #212: Usher's You Make Me Wanna. What is this, the sidepiece anthem? Next: Cabbage patching down the aisle to OPP?

Stacey said...

Anita Baker's You Bring me Joy - classic

Sarah said...

That Bonne Raitt song brings back memories. I used to listen to it and cry my eyes out back when I was 30 because an Englishman told me all sorts of pretty things and then jumped on a plane back to England and forgot all about me. I wish I had your knack for turning heart break into funny stories. Anyway, the years go by. At 45, it seems like an entirely different life. I seem to not have had special songs for the relationships I've been in. But there are songs that remind me of times of my life. I was listening to the 'oldies' station while cleaning on Saturday and was shocked at how many of these songs were around when I was growing up. Does this mean I'm now old ?

BB Waite said...

I had some friends who told me their song was "Respect" - side-eye worthy. Re-Re giving you the business is the theme of your relationship? That's along the lines of Ruth Brown's "Mama, he treats your daughter mean!" What ya'll know about that!

CoolJoe said...

Why was I at a wedding where they danced to Get Ur Freak On?

OneChele said...

Girl no. And we will discuss that later in the week - just what is "Old School" and have young folks lost their minds calling things from the 90s "back in the day"

AppleBerryMIA said...

I'm going to have to ask that any R. Kelly song be stricken from the 'relationship song' or 'wedding song' list. That Number One song sounds good in theory until you listen to the words... right there with Best I Ever Had. Those are freak 'em tunes, not romance. Maybe some people don't know the difference?

OneChele said...

Mint Condition! Another slept on group! You send me swingin'

lola_gets said...

Call me crazy, but Raheem DeVaughn's "You" always made me want to pole dance, but hey, so does Nirvana's "Heart Shaped Box", lol.

L

Lady Loves Hats said...

We've never been a "song" kind of couple but when we were dating, I was in Georgia and he was in Seattle so of course "Midnight Train to Georgia" was a theme for us. I would call and say - you on that train yet? Music invokes such great memories

JadaLoves said...

I must shift my perception of bougie if you are listening to the alternative angry rock

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