Saturday, October 31, 2009

Lift up a Pumpkin Pie Martini: A haunting tale for Halloween

So my Dad and I had a conversation last night. He came into my room in the middle of the night, fully dressed in a mint green polo, khakis and some sort of fancy Italian loafer. We conversed for a long time about my life and my direction, the rest of the family and what was next. We talked about my book and the blog and the fact that life is short and I'm not getting any younger… thanks, Dad. Then he told me he loved me, kissed me on my forehead and wished me sweet dreams. It was a conversation we'd had before. Both Dad and I were night people and a 3:00 am conversation was not an unusual occurrence. The only exceptional thing about this conversation is that my father has been dead for close to nine years.

Now before you break out the strait jackets and start measuring out my meds (BougieOlderBro!); I do know that I was dreaming. Depending on your belief system; either my father's spirit comes to speak to me in dreams or my subconscious manifested my father in a form I could accept. Either way, I woke up feeling like I had my Dad back for a few hours and I was happy.

This is not the first time (nor I hope the last) but previous visits have not been as joyful. There have been times when my father comes back to lecture the hell out of me. He had this West Indian accent so it was always special to hear his clipped tones shouting, "What de hell is dis?" Sometimes he stops by to check on my Mom or another member of the family. The weirdest ones are when it's like a movie and all of a sudden he's in the scene. Like I'm dreaming about driving somewhere and all of a sudden he is in the car and we are having regular everyday conversation. "You know there's a short-cut, right?" <-- very BougieDad

There are times when I wake up positive he was in the room giving me a very Guyanese side-eye. And then there are those times when I wake up out of a dead sleep positive I hear him calling me. My Dad was one of the very, very, very few who called me "Mich" (pronounced Meesh, often as an expletive). At any rate, when he wanted something right away (or found out I had done something wrong), he would just bark out, "Mich!" That was this daughter's sign to drop everything (immediately) and come running (without question). So when I wake up thinking I heard that, it's always with some anxiety. What needs to be done, what did I do this time?

Yet I always feel there is a point to these real or imagined visits. I don't always know what it is but I'm always positive there is one. BougieSis had a strange dream about him the other night that we are still trying to decipher. This got me to wondering: Does anyone really think that dreams are just dreams? Are you of the belief that your mind is trying to tell you something? Has anyone else experienced a dream-state visit from a lost loved one?

Have a safe Halloween and raise up a toast to all the spirits (restless or not) we keep alive in our memories. By the way, here's the recipe for the Pumpkin Pie Martini pictured above… enjoy!

In a cocktail shaker combine:

2 parts Absolut Vanilla vodka
1 part pumpkin schnapps
Splash of cream
Dash of Nutmeg (I also like a little cinnamon)

Shake with chopped ice until ingredients well mixed. Rim a martini glass with lime and honey, dip in sugar. Strain cocktail into glass and enjoy! (For true decadence, add a scoop of vanilla ice cream for each part instead of ice and whir in blender) Oh, and please drink responsibly.

24 comments:

Guest said...

My brother was murdered several years ago in Dallas. I have absolutely had this experience. About 15 years after his visit, I finally shared it with our mother...we had both had similar experiences, but never told the other one!

OneChele said...

Yes this is true.

OneChele said...

Guiltily admitting to a Charmed addiction as well. Damn TNT.

OneChele said...

Super spooky, glad you listened!

OneChele said...

Thanks for sharing yours!

OneChele said...

shut it. I say with the love. L-O-V-E

OneChele said...

Apologies from Dallas and so sorry for your loss. My mom and I once dreamed the same thing about my dad on the same night. Very weird.

ASmith said...

I think there is something to the dreams larger than needing a strait jacket. my mom talks about how her mother visited her a lot in the years after her death (my mom was supposed to be there when she died, but wasn't.... sad situation, told here (<<<--- click that) and just a few months she told me she had a very realistic dream with her mother in it.

I've dreamt about people close to me who have died, but it's not yet come to a point where I have conversations with them... we'll see...

BruinC said...

It's great you get to have conversations. Usually my living mother makes the money comment that helps me take a certain path when I dream of my deceased dad. Last night though, it was just he and I. He was going to a meeting with our President, and in the dream I thought "dang DAD, how much money did you donate to get face time with Barack Obama?"

OneChele said...

Thanks for sharing, great story.

OneChele said...

I love it! When Barack won I remember thinking how I wished my Dad was alive to see it. Knowing him, he would've mortgaged everything he owned for a chance to meet Prez 44.

Hidi said...

Hi :)

My grandmother who passed four years ago sometimes visit me in my dreams. Usually, she is wearing her beautiful flower house dress, which she loved to wear. We either talk or she is just silently watching me. It seems so real as if I can literally feel her skin.
Anyway, I do not find it spooky. Probably intuitively I am still wishing she was around (now I am getting teary eyed), but I know she is resting. At least we get to connect with the loves ones again even if it is in our dreams.

DTP4Real said...

Not that odd. My best friend (who died six years ago) came to me in a dream and told me to get the hell up out the neighborhood. I listened and left. Two months later, the house I was in was run into by a car that lost control. It went right into where I would have been sleeping.

Pure Choco said...

Well if you are crazy, I am too. I finally had to tell my mom (who passed in 1998) to just say what she had to say and get some rest. It was wearing me out.

JustPassingBy said...

Ah, you were a daddy's girl!

BB Waite said...

No way do I believe dreams are just dreams. They are too vivid. If you mind is trying to tell you something, you should listen. As for the paranormal - well, I've no doubt there's a whole debate about what's real and what's not. Who's to say your father's spirit isn't visiting on the only plane you can both reach. Or maybe I watched too much Charmed. I'm just saying - none of here really know what all is out there.

Page Bartlett said...

Oooh, spooky. Did it freak you out the first time it happened? In the 15 years since my dad died, I swear I see him in crowds of people. And yes, I freaked the first time.

BrendaKay said...

OneChele,

My baby brother who died in 1986 visits me in my dreams as well. And more often than not, it's when I'm struggling with a life issue. Oddly, he rarely says much, but the sight of him in my dreams allows me to come to a decision that is the best for whatever the problem or concern might have been. I take great comfort in his visits and if that makes me crazy - then I'm happy to have that label.

Thanks for sharing such a heartwarming experience.

EC Thompson, MD said...

Straitjacket for one! :-)

EllisG said...

I have had the same thing happen to me many, many times. I take comfort in these visits as a sign that there's a bigger picture out there. So fit me up with a strait jacket too ;-)

Andrea M said...

My grandmother lectures me about three times a year in my dreams. And she is just as long-winded and preachy now as she ever was - LMAO!

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