Thursday, July 30, 2009

Tough times in Texas, ya’ll

I'm a Texan, born and raised. I don't apologize for it, no matter how many times people expect me to. So what if we hand out the death penalty for jay-walking and hit 100° in May? So what if religion and football sometimes get confused? It's where I'm from and there's no place like home, right?

When they elected GWB to the governorship, I fled to California and did not return for close to ten years. (Actually the two events were not related, but I like to act like they are.) California and Texas have a lot of similarities: they are both huge in population and land mass; the NoCal vs SoCal feud is a carbon copy to the Dallas folks vs. Houston folks battle; and both tend to act that their state is actually a nation unto its self.

However, California was brutally expensive and had a state income tax that was no joke. 1200 square feet in California equals 3000 square feet in the Texas yet the salaries are pretty similar. So I'm back home in Texas. "Why did you go back?" I'm asked repeatedly by my East and West Coast friends. Family and finance were my motivating factors. Most days I'm happy to be back, however; my fellow Texans are making it hard.

Exhibit A: GWB. Nuff said. The fact that he now lives less than 12 miles away from my house makes me a little itchy in the middle of the night sometimes.

Exhibit B: Rick Perry. More concerned with his hair products and political aspirations then the actual health and welfare of his constituents. We've already had to "go override" on him twice for the stimulus dollars. Can you say re-election year, Rick? I know I can.

Exhibit C: John Cornyn – made a complete idiot of himself at the Sotomayor hearings. He should be ashamed… but he's not. Did he really think offending a Hispanic while representing the largest BORDER STATE in the union was a good idea?

Exhibit D: Our sports teams. With the exception of the San Antonio Spurs and the Dallas Stars, Texas has consistently presented the world with high expectations, overhype and under performance for the last decade. I present to you the Rockets, the Astros, the Texans, the Rangers, the Mavericks and last not least, the Cowboys. And DON'T get me started on the owners. I mean it.

Exhibit E: This mess going on in Azle, Texas. Yes, someone actually posted a "No Hispanics Allowed" sign in public.



Exhibit F: This OTHER mess going on in Paris, Texas. Bad enough ya'll still dragging (literally) bruhs up and down the street. You drop the charges and don't expect a protest? The Nation of Islam and New Black Panthers battling Neo-Nazis and the KKK in the streets. I'm so proud.


I could go on, but that's enough for now. It's been a long time since our glory days of J.R. Ewing, Cowboys' SuperBowl wins and Ann Richards (who didn't love Ann?). The best thing I can say about Texas right now is that the cost of living is still great, the ratio of shops & restaurants per capita in the Dallas Area is still the highest in the nation and of course, I'm here.

Hey, if you don't mind overt racism and love a great steak, come on down! I'll buy the first round of mango margaritas! Comment as you like! ;-)

11 comments:

SpitGameSpeakTruth said...

Could be worse, you could live in New York/New Jersey

uglyblackjohn said...

At least you live in a real city.
Down here in Beaumont; "Everything is bigger in Texas", includes the women.

Anonymous said...

I'm in DC now and when people ask where I'm from, I say Texas - defensively cuz I know the comments are coming. Pull it together down there!

J. Douglas said...

@SpitGameSPeakTruth and OneChele: It could be even worse than that...You could live in Minot, ND. Smh while lol.

I think OneChele knew that was coming...

OneChele said...

@J.Doug: Shoulda known but momentarily forgot about your Dakota exile. Stay Strong Brotha!

Anonymous said...

At least y'all can say Selena y Los Dinos come from your state. That's enough to be proud of.

RiPPa said...

Wait, the Cowboys one a Superbowl? Ok, that old lady cracked me up when she said she doesn't want to keep out everybody else, only Hispanics.

"Oh sure c'mon in Black man with that ski-mask on your face. Sure c'mon in and steal my Shrek 2 DVD. I don't mind. Just as long you're not one of those fence jumpers."

Trisha's Daughter said...

I'm a native Texan too. Lived in other places, but nothing beats my home state. I thought the Dallas/Houston battle had died down...

natural nubian said...

i always say texans and floridians are the two natives that always gotta defend their home state. i'm from florida but now live in NYC and whenever i someone hears the "kuntry twang" and i rep FLA, prez revote questions from the caucasians and T.Paine/Trick Daddy side-eyes from my brothers & sisters. i just can't win :(

Tiffany In Houston said...

I reps my city and my state all day long. Why should I be ashamed. Every state has their fuck-ups!

JonB said...

haha - nope, it's stll goin' strong. April's 1st had more than one "Houston is better than Dallas/Dallas is better than Houston" posts.

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